Actions have consequences…first rule of life. And the second rule is this: you are the only one responsible for your own actions. — Holly Lisle
Some months ago I wrote myself a letter. I’m going to post it in two parts as it is rather long. The first part follows:
Dear G:
I write this letter to me as I have many things I need to tell me, which only I can say. To start let me congratulate me on all the progress I have made so far. I have emerged from a minor depression with the feeling of renewed spirit and vigor. To that end I say, keep it up.
I wish I could say that I’ve never been in this position before, but that would be a lie. In fact I have been here many times before, here on the precipice of success, only to back away and retreat to the land of comfort and failure. I needed to take the leap of faith and I refused. Why? Fear. Fear of what lay beyond, fear of what tomorrow would bring, but most of all fear of leaving the comfort of my mind.
How many times have I approached the abyss and looked across to see the bounty that lay on the other side of the gorge? But on the other hand how many times have I approached this same canyon, took the leap of faith and succeeded in obtaining my dreams? Search and Rescue swims became such an event. I did it then, why not now? Remember how I almost failed the test, but I gave it one more try and succeeded! I swam the pool as instructed, I passed the test, and I made the team. How proud I was that day, the day I beat the odds. Out of thirty I was one of the twelve that passed. From there on nothing could stop me and nothing did.
Yet now I approach the same gorge, the same abyss with worthwhile goals only to back down. Still in many areas of my life I passed the test, some very difficult, some easy, testing my desire to achieve and succeed. I passed every test I wanted to pass, and the ones that I didn’t want, I failed. It’s as simple as that.
This letter is not to scorn my failures but rather to encourage me. I find myself on the path again, so familiar but this time different. The flowers are different, the landscape is different, but the path remains the same. How do I explain that?
The path and landscape hasn’t changed, I have. The flowers are the same; I am just now noticing them. My eyes have been opened because I decided to open them. It is amazing what I see when I want to see. The kicker is I have seen all of this before; the difference is I forgot what the path looked like. It has been so many years since I traveled this path, really traveled this path, the path to fulfillment. But here I am again, walking the trail towards my destiny.
As I walk I can see, in the distance, the rainbow, my rainbow, the one that belongs to me, and only me. Each of us creates our own rainbow, we establish our own pot of gold at the end of that rainbow, and that pot of gold is whatever we want it to be. However getting there and reaching that pot of gold is not easy, nor was it ever meant to be. The rainbow represents all the storms, rain, hard work, pitfalls, and sacrifice I had to make in order to obtain the pot of gold waiting there, waiting for me to claim it.
I’ve reached this rainbow before, in my work, I obtained my goals, and achieved success in the process. I got the pot of gold. But now, now I hesitate to help myself in other areas of my life, in short I stopped trying to succeed and that was my mistake. However I decided not to live down to that mistake, but rather lift myself above it, and for that I applaud me.
Many men feel that life owes them everything, and I for some reason I fell into this trap. Life owes me nothing; it is I that owe life. I can drift through this element we call life and lead a meager existence, I can complain and cry that others have more than me and how unfair life is, or I can do something else. Life is a choice, a choice of mediocrity or a choice of plenty. And it is up to me to decide what option I want to excecute.
If I feel I owe life nothing, my view of reality is meaningless and empty. If I feel that life owes me everything I want, then I become a small mind in a body. If I feel life is worthless then I have nothing of value to give.
But I don’t feel that way. Other men may, but not me. I have always felt that there is more to living than just a paycheck. I have lived adventures; I have seen much of the world and gained a prospective of life in general. In Taiwan I had a remarkable experience, I saw a beast of man, large, extremely large for a Chinese. He was as large as Hulk Hogan, but in his hands, his massive hands he held a small baby, so small and so fragile, but so safe. It made an impression on me then and it still resides vividly in my mind today. Life is good. Life is worth having. Life is magnificent. Life is life. And I my friend, I am a part of life, a part of this wild and wonderful universe, the universe of life. And that alone is worth something. And that something is worth giving back to.
There are many ways to give; money is just one way but not necessarily the best. I compel me to give of myself, which I noticed I am already doing. Good for me. How is the best way for me to help others? An interesting question and perhaps the best answer is by first helping me to become a better man, a better human being. And I do that by encouraging others to be better than they think they are.
To be continued…
