The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. — Martin Luther King, Jr.
Sometimes life kicks you so hard you wonder if your teeth are going to stay in your head. Events transpire which shake your very soul and you wonder how you will ever make it through the day. Somehow you do but the stress inflicted upon your body is so intense it can and often does manifest itself in some type of physical ailment. For me stress hits my stomach and the pain is so intense I feel like I just want to die, literally.
The problems life can throw at us very often strikes at the very depth of our soul and instead of seeing rainbows all we see are the storm clouds of destruction. Everything we hold dear is now in jeopardy of being taken away and no amount of positive attitude can brandish the feeling of impending doom.
Or can it?
Life may throw at us a massive hurricane of destruction and we just have to ride it out. The issues come, perform their damage, and leave us with what appears to be a hopeless situation. But hopeless I have discovered is only a state of mind.
In most cases it is not the actual events which damage us it is the mental strain we place upon ourselves which does the injury. Instead of handling events we worry about them. We permit the events to affect us instead of taking control of our mental facilities and deal with the situation in a more constructive manner.
Right now it is 2:30 in the morning and I can’t sleep. The problems I am facing weigh heavily upon my mind and my stress level is out of control. I realized I have to get a handle on my situation and no amount of positive thinking is going to change what is coming.
I can’t change the coming events, they are well on their way, but I can change the method in which I reply to them, and that is I respond and not react. This is why at 2:30 in the morning I find myself writing these words. I need a release, some way of seeing my problems with clarity instead of looking at them through foggy lenses. I need to encourage me in my own hour of darkness, so I write.
In the movies there is a dialog we sometimes hear: “You have no idea what I am capable of!” Well guess what, that line is true. For many of us we have absolutely no concept of what we are truly capable of achieving. We have within us the power to change and shape our destiny if we will but put our mind to the task. Unfortunately we decide to punt the ball on the first down instead of fighting for the goal, trying to win the game.
There is no doubt in my mind that I am being tested, tested to see how well I respond to the pressure of the coming events. For the last few days I have allowed the problems to overwhelm me but as of now that stops. I am now more determined than ever to take control of the situation to the best of my ability, an ability which each of us have in abundance but refuse to acknowledge, much less use.
So the question becomes, how do I take control? For starters I need to change the way I address the situation. Words have meanings, and certain words convey more meaning than other words. Problem is just such a word. I need to move my thinking from problem mode into challenge mode. This adjustment means I must respond to the situation and not react to it.
The readjustment clears and calms the mind allowing it to become focused upon solutions and not emotions. Emotions will never solve a problem only clear logical thinking can do that. This is why response to a situation is superior to reacting to a situation, with the added benefit that responding gives us total control over most, and maybe all, of the circumstances.
When you lose control of your emotions and thoughts you have already lost. Therefore it is critical you, and especially me, we maintain control of our own feelings and thought patterns. The challenges are not diminished in any way but by keeping control of our thinking we become calmer and clearer in our approach to solving the challenge. We still have to suffer through the storm but now we do it from the safety of the cellar and not the openness of wild, out of control emotions. The end result, at some point, will be the rainbow of success.
So how do I know all this? Because of faith. It is faith which carries the day. The Bible says that if one has the faith of a mustard seed one can move mountains. And a mustard seed is really damn small. But when it blossoms it becomes the greatest of herbs, thus application of faith grows and becomes stronger with each passing moment.
Our burden may seem enormous and crushing but that is because we lack faith in ourselves, we lack belief in ourselves, we lack the self-confidence we need to eliminate the challenge, and we lack the commitment to fight for and overcome our challenge. Because each challenge we overcome makes us stronger, better, more productive, and more capable of handling the next challenge that comes along.
Easy? Not in any lifetime. Destructive? Sometimes. Overwhelming? Definitely. But never, never more than we can tolerate. Each challenge forces us to reach into ourselves just a little deeper. Each challenge forces us to look at ourselves in a more critical light. Each challenge dares us to overcome it. Triple dog-dare anyone?
Are there tricks and methods to overcoming challenges? You bet your socks there are. The most effective method is known as pencil and paper. Write each challenge down, one challenge per page. Don’t put all the challenges on one page the objective here is to visualize each individual challenge as a separate unit. Write the challenge, at the top of the page. Make the challenge one sentence long.
Once you have listed each challenge, again one per page, something happens. You can actually see what you are facing. It now becomes a tangible item, not an abstract floating in mid-air. Now describe the challenge, in detail. Write as much or as little as you want but think the challenge through carefully with emphasis on the worse that can happen. But never neglect the best that can happen as well.
Once you have described the challenge in detail, read, then re-read what you wrote. Make additions or deletions to the description if necessary. Once you have done that, your mind should be engaged in some type of solution at this point. Write it down. Don’t judge it, write it. Continue to think about solutions. Remember you are only working on one challenge, not all of them.
Write each solution you can think of down, without judgment. Get up, get a glass of water or something (stay away from the wine and beer, a clear mind is critical at this point). Return, re-read and readjust where necessary.
Now go to the next challenge and repeat the process. Once you have done all this put the paper away for the day. For tomorrow you edit. After about 24 hours you can begin to edit each challenge eliminating the unworkable/ridiculous and high-lighting the workable. Do this for each challenge.
Now you have a workable plan. Adjustments will still be necessary and unexpected events will arise but you are now in control. You control your emotions, your thinking, and the environment. You now have the power to change any challenge from a negative into a positive.
I know there are other techniques available and I highly recommend you investigate them. The basic point is you must control the challenge, never let the challenge control you. For nothing is impossible once you have identified the solution, which is the most difficult component in overcoming any challenge.
G.
